Self-love and Self-Care

Self-care is all about having a deeper understanding of your physical and mental wellbeing. It is about you connecting with the inner peace that you deserve, be it spending some time alone walking in the park instead of going out late for a movie with friends. It’s the self-awareness that lets you grow in all kinds of ways.

On the other hand, self-love is your ability to love you! Simple as that. It’s the appreciation and acceptance of the way you are without comparing yourself to others because you are not a lesser being. Self-love means that you create time to take care of yourself and feel good about it.

Even though these two are different, they are what we need to make life worth living. Self-love lets you live life to the fullest and feel good about yourself instead of beating yourself up over things that don’t matter. We all know how depressing it can be when you start comparing yourself to others instead of just feeling good all the time. Like meditation, learning self-love and care will refocus your brain.

Self-love and Self-care tips

  • Remove the clutter from your life

Create a clean space for yourself. Remember that physical clutter can change how you think. A clean and organised space will enhance your mood and improve your productivity. However, don’t overwhelm yourself with this task because you can prioritise it around your day and activities that you find more enjoyable.

  • Give yourself unconditional love everyday no matter what

No one can love you the way you do. Even though human beings are capable of unconditional love and compassion for others, they can be limited by self-interests and gain. And when you find yourself faced with difficult situations and decisions, it is important to remember that you are what matters first and foremost.

One important aspect of self-love is understanding that you are not perfect and that everyone has flaws. However, you are unique and important just the way you are. Always. When you understand unconditional love, you will find it easy to cut off people who don’t love you the way you are.

  • Take care, holistically

Creating a life outside of work is important. You need a balance between work and play to maintain holistic self-care. Set aside more time for yourself to do the things that you love and enjoy, whether that’s settling in with a good book, a walk, a movie or meditation.

Indulge in that which raises your vibration and makes you feel good. Find your tribe, surround yourself with people who are uplifting and encouraging

  • Have high standards and stick to them

Self-respect is very connected to self-love and care because when you have self-respect you won’t settle for less. Know your worth, set boundaries and stand for what you believe in.

Expect that people will abandon you because the high standards might portray you as a high maintenance. Let them, stick with people who know your worth.

Keeping high standards will also safe guard you from being taken advantage of. If things don’t meet your expectations, then it wasn’t worth your time. It might seem rash but in the long run, you will see that you made the right choice because you weren’t prepared to comprise what you believe in.

  • Pursue your true passions

You only live once is the motto. Life is too short to chase the wind. Go for a career that will make you happy and don’t let anyone make decisions for you, or settle for a crappy job because society says so. Know for yourself, don’t be consumed by the outside chatter.

It doesn’t matter what others think, if you believe it is your true calling, then go for it with all your might. Dream big and be in consistent action to make those dreams a reality.

  • Minimize people-pleasing

People-pleasing gives you a false sense of being liked and accepted. Don’t feel like you have to say yes when someone asks for your help, setting boundaries is important to your own wellbeing. Remember you have a choice. The connections you create need to be real and not only made to satisfy someone else. Self-love and care is about putting your needs above others.

  • Be mindful

Engaging in mindful practices can help us to purposefully fill our minds, it is important to focus on that which serves us. Meditation can be a really useful tool in helping us to direct and guide our attention. Learn to live in the present moment.

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.” – Eckhart Tolle

Things that happen when you practice self-love and care

  • We lower the chance of getting some diseases like hypertension, anxiety, depression, and many heart-related problems. Feeling good can boost your immune system and limit the risk of getting sick.
  • We get in touch with reality and live a contented life.
  •  Life is fulfilling when you love and care for yourself.
  • Our life becomes more meaningful and we grow in every area of our well being.
  • We become more energised and focused on living, loving, helping, serving, and caring.
  • We become an example to others, teaching them love and care. When others see the care and love we give ourselves, they are encouraged to adopt the same lifestyle filled with self-love and care.
  • We become more open, creative and inspired. As a result, we are able to think more clearly problem solve more effectively.
  • We understand that failure is a process of growth.

Self-love and care means that we look after and appreciate ourselves and take more time to grow in love and kindness. It may take time to consciously develop a habit of taking care of yourself but the more you practice and make it a priority, it will soon become a way of life.

Steps To Boosting Your Self Confidence

Everybody loves a person who believes in their abilities. They are not put down by obstacles and are able to overcome their fears. Self-confident people have an aura of positivity around them and generally are more satisfied with the state of their lives.

Here are some helpful tips to boost you self confidence…

Create your self-image

Don’t compare yourself to others, we’re all on our individual journey with different strengths and weaknesses. The truth is we never truly know what is going on with somebody else and while they may portray a perfect life, the reality can be different. You just need to figure out your path, everyone is great at something.

Keep away from negativity and focus on the positives

Make an evaluation and find out what is the negative attribute within your bubble; be it friends or family. It is tough but it’s important to cut any ties with individuals who undermine your confidence. Teach yourself to see the beauty in every situation, so maybe that speech you had to present didn’t go so well because you were anxious and nervous, rather than allowing that to dominate the experience think about how much your audience respected you for getting up and trying.

Don’t fall prey to failure and resist all the negative forces

Do not accept anything other than success. For every problem, there is a solution so don’t give up. This is the anthem. A perfect way of boosting your confidence is to look back at your successes.

Insufficient confidence is the result of a train of negative thoughts which influence your outlook. If you constantly beat yourself with depressing thoughts, like how you are not beautiful, you aren’t well-built and other such thoughts, you then become the negative thoughts you have. You are what you think. If there is a hint of a negative thought, flush it out with a positive one until you attain exceedingly great confidence, and keep doing the same.

Flip a weakness into a strength

The perfect way to build confidence is knowing your ‘flaws’ and finding a way of building that into something great. It isn’t enough to say that everyone is perfect and nothing can be improved. Focus on what you think may be a weakness and turning that into a strength. Have a self-reflection moment and work to improve what seems to be below your standards.

Create a powerful embodiment of yourself

Self-confidence does not come from believing that you are the best. It is also influenced by having an image that is good with social life, risk taking towards some goals, accomplishing your missions and being fulfilled by your beliefs.

Have the habit of reflecting on yourself and make important decisions on your own. This means that you learn to be utterly confident with yourself and act in ways that put success at your feet.

Increase your competence

 How do you become more competent? By continually adding knowledge to your talents and practicing. The only way to achieving competence is to become competent.

Set an achievable goal

A common mistake that most people make is aiming for things higher than their abilities can adapt to. Instead of setting distant goals that will never be attained, why not switch that with something you can accomplish, and accomplish it. You will definitely be uplifted by it. Continue on this path, the more you achieve your objectives, the more confident you become as you look back at your achievements. Soon, you will be able to set bigger goals and add something bigger in your bag of victories too.

Empower yourself with knowledge

Self-empowerment is among the tactics you can adopt to boost your confidence. There are many ways to do this but the surest way is to increase your knowledge. This is similar to becoming competent. To become competent you have to increase your knowledge, have a thirst and hunger for knowledge, whether it’s reading or doing something educational that you enjoy, don’t stop being a student.

Do one thing that frightens you every day

The only way to tackle your fears is head-on. Doing something that scares you will gradually build your confidence as you add more experience. Get off the couch and face your fears.

Care for yourself

Self-confidence is hinged on all the aspects of health; emotional, physical, mental and social. It is hard to be confident if you dislike something about yourself and constantly have no enthusiasm.

Set aside some time to exercise and create healthy habits.

Having frequent workouts increases your energy levels and also provides some essential hormones such as testosterone and endorphins which can boost your confidence.


Self-belief does not imply a false sense of ego and being sightless to your shortcomings. It also should not make you believe that you are perfect and should do nothing to improve your capabilities. Self-belief should focus on how and what you should become. Know your weaknesses, be comfortable with them and add something to your own abilities.

Self-belief is a good coping technique when you face shortcomings and seeing them as they are, transitory obstacles and not the apocalypse. The important thing to note, as your self-confidence grows, not only do people have more trust and belief in you but you start to feel the same way about yourself.

Ways of overcoming fear and anxiety

What is anxiety?

Usual reflexes to stressful moments may lead to the development of worries and anxiety. This is crucial for our survival and being on point with every situation. Adrenaline, the flight or fight hormone, activates our energy reserves in order to tackle dangerous moments.

Adrenaline enabled survival of our predecessors to escape from stressful circumstances. Back then it might have been a wild animal. Today, we face even more complex sources of stress which are overcome by the help of adrenaline. Anxiety is only a problem when it is magnified beyond what it really is.

Managing anxiety or curing it?

Managing and curing anxiety are two completely distinct concepts. Managing anxiety is where you provide solutions in the spur of a moment to cure the origin of stress. This may be medication, meditation or finding a way through it.

Curing anxiety is the surest way of overcoming anxiety in the absence of any anxiety related disorders.

Who is affected by anxiety?

People respond in a myriad of ways to anxiety. Some remain calm while others are made completely incapable of anything. Understanding why you are suffering from anxiety can help put the problem behind you and make necessary changes.

Traumatising events can be extrapolated to show the origin of certain psychological problems. However, life events don’t need to be stressful to cause anxiety. Any shift in life can adjust how you adapt to certain changes that are required to be made. Childhood trauma can also influence the way in which you respond to future situations.

Some psychological tendencies can create a false feeling of anxiety, which increases the risk of developing similar problems. Also, moods can alter our perception and we may not notice how wrong our mental capacities are.

Guidelines on how to overcome anxiety

Anxiety is best alleviated by seeking the necessary treatment. Overcoming anxiety should be a mantra and not something done rashly and put off until you are affected again; in that case, the next attacks of anxiety can be severe.

When healing anxiety, do not try to get rid of the feelings arising from it, rather work towards bettering your coping mechanisms when you feel anxious. Coping with anxious thoughts is a sure way of conquering it.

Some forms of therapy prove to be very helpful including behavioral and talk therapies. Nonetheless, the following are non-medical tips on how to overcome anxiety:


Even though it has become a cliché, there is something good about exercising to cope with anxiety:

  • It causes a surge of neurotransmitters which uplift the mood.
  • Prevents anxiety symptoms by tiring the muscles.
  • Gets rid of stress hormones that could lead to anxiety.

Exercising is the best way to relieve anxiety and should be included in your daily routine. The results of exercising also cover many fields and not just curing anxiety alone.

Breathing exercises

Some people tend to hyperventilate when faced with anxiety. This is common for people riddled with panic attacks, which also cause other accompanying symptoms that are severe and can worsen anxiety.

So if you want to stop anxiety before it happens, practice breathing exercises to soothe the body and prevent any likelihood of getting panic attacks.

Facing your fears

Running away from your fears only makes them worse. You will not avoid them forever and you should take them by the horns as soon as possible.

Visualise a happy place

Take a moment, close your eyes and imagine something that makes you happy. It could be childhood memories, food or being with someone you love. Let the good feeling fill you with positivity and calm your nerves until you get relaxed.

Go back to the basics

Find ways that help you to relax like getting a good rest, an activity that you enjoy, a walk in the park, meeting up with a friend or maybe just having some “me time”.

Sell yourself on a positive outcome

Have a positive outlook while evaluating all the possible outcomes for every good decision that you choose to make. Imagine how good relationships would be if you didn’t panic. When calm, you are inclined to make sound decisions often.

Don’t turn it into a disaster

Do not exaggerate any situation. This will scare you and you will cause everything to be a catastrophe. Always see things for what they are and not anything else.

Meditate or pray

Have something to comfort you when anxious. Be at peace with yourself and anything around you. When faced with negativity, repeat a positive mantra or pray to yourself. Focus on this and anxiety will vanish.

Visit a therapist

If your anxiety is bubbling over and it seems uncontrollable, there is no harm in seeking professional help.